The eating problem

Being the judgemental* fellow that I am, I speak for everyone when I say, food is the second in line in the most important trio of existence - Music, Food and Sex **. Yes, in that order. Now, why food is not at the top is something I wont go into. You will need to visit a psychiatrist if you think it should be above music. Uninitiated buffoons.

Abstinence from the last is what I shall be practising. Which means, I shall need more of food and music! Why, I shall elaborate in the next post.

Coming here, I was apprehensive on what I should or should not eat and whether I shall get past the first week without crying out in anguish for home-food or even hostel-mess food (eughh) for that matter. A conversation with my uncle before I came here revealed some disturbing facts:

- Woh log sirf keede khaate hain! (They eat only insects, bugs and the likes)

- Vegetarian toh unn logon ke liye kuch nahin hota. Chicken ko veg maante hain. (There's nothing like vegetarian food for them. Even Chicken is vegetarian for them.

- Kutta khila denge. Bachkar rehna! (They shall serve you dog-meat. Be wary!)

- Ghar ya hostel mein hi banana apna khaana. Humne toh wohi kiya tha. (Make food only in the hostel or your house. Thats what we did.)


Lets go in order.

- By insects I think he meant shrimps, prawns and other seafood (apart from fishes) which I dont exactly love, but I can eat once in a while. What I wasnt prepared for was eating them every single day.

- Being the rotten apple of the house/extended family, I eat meat. And I love it (There have been times where I have let myself into believing I can actually stop eating it, and failed miserably, but lets not digress at this point in time). So, yes I thought I could manage by eating Singaporean Veg.

- This was the scary thought the moment I got off the plane and checked out the Airport Cafeteria. Chicken Croissants (Yum). Mutton Pie (unnh unhhh!). Chicken with Dog tail Sandwich (What the frikkin f###??).
I went very promptly into the nearest washroom and splashed water on my face. I looked at myself. This couldn't be happening. I cant be living amongst people who eat dog-meat!!! Poor dogs. I love them creatures!
Taking a few badly-needed deep breaths, I walk back calmly to the Cafetaria and smile at the waitress, who smiles back broadly (A little too broadly, now that I think of it.. ***) . I point towards the Chicken with Dog tail Sandwich promising myself I shall throw it into the dustbin. But I want to see how they can cook such preposterous stuff and pass it off as food? She smiles (again) at me and says, "Having here or take-away Sir?". I try to remain calm at the outset. "Take-away please". She places it in a box and hands it to me. That will be 1 dollar 20 cents sir. I try to ask if they will accept Visa, but I decide not to. I take out my wallet and hand over 2 dollars, getting back the change. Anxiously looking this way and that, I open the box and then let out a long sigh. It wasnt dog meat! I blame it on jetlag. Although I know better. I'm just very freaked out. (Incidentally, dog-meat isnt eaten in Singapore. Its a very Korean thing. So, the people interning there might want to watch out!)

- Yaaaah right!! I cant cook for nuts. And am in a hostel. Although we have common kitchens in every wing, I dont think I can go through the rigmarole of standing there hoping something good comes of it. Shall learn to cook someday (how convenient to put it off for another day. Sigh..)

Having spent 10 days (or so) in Singapore, fooding (as I like to call it), is an issue in Singapore. Simply put, there are too many choices!!

There is a plethora of stuff to choose from - Thai, Malaysian, Japanese, Indian, Muslim (yes its a genre here. Something to do with Halal meat), Western, Chinese, Vietnamese, and finally, Pure Vegetarian (without Chicken, yes).

The eating problem that was, isnt a problem at all. The hordes of foreign people flocking this land, have rendered it a food destination (Tamils are rampant in Singapore..theyr on the loose!! They are everywhere!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahh ..shhh..dunn wanna offend anyone, do we? :D ). Eating out everyday and still having enough money to buy clothes makes it a gastronomic hotspot in my humble opinion.

For when you dont wish to go out and eat, there's always Cup Noodles and other rannnnge of Instant stuff to choose from. Last night, I had this Instant Chicken Cup Noodles (you just add boiling water, which is available from a dispenser in the kitchen) and an (waitttt for it) Instant EGG!!!! The picture is up there for everyone to see and ogle at. The marvel of it. The pure simplicity. The horrible, sweet taste! =)

So all you people who really want to come to Singapore and need a reason, I reiterate, "Food, music and sex."

Wait, was it food first?

Damn.

*ahem*. Anyway, food is among them!

Bon appétit monsieur!

Or should I say 愉快膳食! (thats chinese for Happy meal)

--

Post-thoughts:
* I am called judgemental by a friend who wishes to remain anonymous lest she be bombarded with angry retorts by you readers. She also thinks I write like shit, but thats okay. She also thinks everyone else including her write like shit. But thats okay as well. Her profession, incidentally, is journalism.

** Cheese-woman echoes the same thoughts on this. I think I stole it from her. Ohh well. Easy come, easy go.

*** Singaporean (Chinese?) chicks smile like mad. If you try talking to one, almost throughout the conversation they will smile until you start to wonder if their cheeks have been infused with an irritant which will only not irritate when they smile. It remains a mystery until today. In the remaining part of the conversation they go "aaaah", "yeahhh" and "ooooh". No, those arent orgasmic at all. Rather, very very very irritating!